Negotiations...

Are you negotiating?

Of course, you do. Every day. Will you agree with me, almost every decision you make, this crucial and common (in business and in your personal life), is preceded by negotiations? You negotiate with your boss, with a colleague ... but also with your partner - setting expenses, or with a teenager - setting the time to return home. And recently, when you sold the car, the question was "how much can you reduce the price?" Negotiations are an integral part of our lives.

Do you feel that sometimes defending your own position comes at the expense of your relationships with others? Are you afraid that you will lose your business contacts due to improperly conducted negotiations?

There is no cause for concern. You can learn the art of negotiation. You don't have to resort to tricks and manipulations.

Where to start?

Adopting the right attitude is crucial. It is important that you are open to solutions and prepared for various options.

Today, however, a little bit about how NOT to negotiate.

There is no one reason, there is not only one "right" solution. Taking the assumption that only your arguments are right and a radical willingness to get your way will lead you astray.

When you are focused on yourself, on your righteousness - you do not see perspectives and other - perhaps much better solutions. You take the stance of defending your ego ... and that's not what this is about.

If you want to show that you are a "tough player", you treat your partner in negotiations as your opponent. You automatically, perhaps subconsciously, assume his bad intentions, you don't trust him, you are suspicious. Your actions are marked by anger, you use threats, intimidation and demand concessions. This is the type of negotiation that can lead you to victory, but with a high degree of risk of losing a good relationship. Instead of negotiating - you generate a conflict. That's not the way.

The opposite of an aggressor is accepting a compliant attitude. As is always the case, going from one extreme to the other is never the right solution.

You want to reach an agreement quickly, maintain good relations, and meet the expectations of the partner. Cool. Very generous. The problem, however, is that such action will also not allow for the development of the best possible solutions. Excessively caring for other people's satisfaction, at the expense of your own interests, puts you at risk of receiving a lot of negotiation blows.

Many people resort to tricks, and manipulations when they negotiate. This is not a praiseworthy attitude. Did you know that the internet is bursting with good advice on how to "negotiate effectively"? Believe me, a large part of them is the perfect instruction in the "art of manipulation". Probably applying it in practice will bring you the desired effect. You will achieve your goals. Perhaps your interlocutor will not initially be aware of what you have been up to. However, he will have the feeling that something bad has happened. A sense of disgust, harm, and fraud will remain. Sooner or later, the truth will come out ... and you will lose your reputation.

How not to negotiate - you already know. The next post will be about how to conduct negotiations to make them successful and bring you success.