More about Assertiveness

I have no doubt that life is easier for assertive people. An assertive woman will claim her rights faster. She will be ready to take a risk, choose a different, new path. I have already written about assertiveness - what it is and how to build assertive messages. Click here:

Did you know that assertiveness is closely related to self-esteem and self-confidence?

If you are self-aware, working on yourself and your mental path, you certainly know if you are assertive or far from it. If you feel a strong need for self-improvement, you have probably analyzed yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses more than once. Advantages and disadvantages. Moreover, if you know that mental work on yourself is not just "thinking", you have probably already taken steps to improve your weaknesses. One of such Achilles' heels may be the lack of assertiveness.

You know you can step outside your comfort zone and learn to be assertive? It is work on yourself like any other.

Of course, you won't acquire new skills overnight. Let's agree, it takes a while for a behavior to change.

The beginning comes down to observing your own behavior, skillfully recognizing the moments when your behavior is far from assertive. Once you discover when you are behaving in a non-assertive manner, it is worth taking a moment of attention and answering the question - which of these situations is the most burdensome for you. Consider the moments when you frighten, where fear and remorse take away your strength to act. Certainly, you will also find situations in which you are ready to take action and be more assertive than before. Do you know that you would get the best results if you started working on yourself in the most difficult moments? However, my guess is that you will not be willing to take the bull by the horns right away (although I encourage you to do so). Therefore, try from the second situation - those in which you know that they will not be difficult for you.

Remember the last time you acted in a non-assertive manner. Do you remember what you replied to your interlocutor? You felt bad afterward, right? As if you have failed yourself. Okay, now ... think what you really wanted to say to him? Does your answer express your own opinion, but in such a way as not to intentionally hurt the other party? Do you hear the words in your head that you want to say? Stand in front of the mirror and say them! Loud, clearly with confidence in your opinion! Not serious? Maybe a little. It's weird talking to your reflection in the mirror. Only at the beginning, I assure you. Allow yourself this little lack of seriousness - life is serious enough anyway;) Before you go out into the deep waters, you have to swim a bit in your life jacket ;) After a few days of trying to assertive answers, try to implement them. Practice in real situations. Failed the first time? Don't stray from your chosen path! Remember that every failure is a component of success! Just remember one thing. Analyze a failed attempt - be aware. Think about where the weak point was and what didn't work, and refine what is imperfect.

Sometimes it's easy to go from the extreme to the extreme - instead of being assertive, you may find that you have "exaggerated" a bit and instead of deliberately expressing your feelings and desires, you started to formulate aggressive messages.

Aggression has nothing to do with assertiveness. The most common factors behind aggression are lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.

Today I invite you to a short webinar in which I will present 5 techniques thanks to which you will learn assertiveness. You will never feel guilty again that you agreed to stay after hours to write an appeal today (even though the deadline is in 10 days), just because the client insists that on tomorrow as he wants to read your thoughts and "add" his to them.

I will give the exact date of the webinar this week. Be vigilant!